Mary van Balen

"...You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.....you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Church." Mt 16







For some, this passage from Matthew's gospel is justification for papal authority, for a pope in the first place. I don't think Jesus intended to establish the modern papacy with this statement. What I heard this morning as I sat with these words was "intimacy." Peter knew Jesus, and Jesus knew him. Isn't that what intimacy is, knowing and being known? Something we crave to have with another human being, but more profoundly, with God?

"God and I, we're like this!" one might say, holding up a hand with two fingers crossed, as close as they can get. Peter recognized Jesus as the one who was to come, the messiah, even if his understanding of Jesus' mission needed a little work. And Jesus knew his friend. He knew that his life and his words would be critical to bringing God's kingdom.

Even if Peter's "rockness" was more like sandstone than granite, who he was would be important in spreading the word. Read More 

Conversion is not viewed as an act of turning away from this or that sin toward this or that virtue. True conversion is never so neatly defined or cleanly accomplished. Conversion involves the gradual reshaping of consciousness to the point that the "convert" begins to view life in a radically new way. It is not something a person DECIDES to do, as though it were in our power to do so. We are led through conversion by the gracious Lord who alone has the power to reshape our consciousness, and who must do so in the face of deep resistance. In the ways the the spirit, it is the Lord and not ourselves who determines that from which we must be purified, and this is usually the source of our greatest resistance.
Peter Fink, S.J.



A friend sent this quote to me saying, "...it always speaks to me about the hidden ways God is doing what only God can do in us--and we're not aware of it at all. In fact, we often believe just the opposite."


Both the quote and my friend's words speak to me this Lent. I have chosen a couple disciplines this Lent focusing not on "giving up" as much as "giving time." Forgoing some activities that devour more time than intended in order to do something more life-giving. I am giving myself "soul room" by clearing out some clutter.

While I think that is a good thing, and intend to stick with it, I am reminded by Peter Fink and my friend, Luisa, that God may be working somewhere else in my life to slowly radicalize my way of seeing and living.

I like thinking of the hiddenness of God's hand. Awareness that anything and everything can be a moment of transformation helps me reverence the people and events of my day.

Giving thanks for all of it, the annoying, mundane parts, the work, the suffering that I would wish away if I could, makes sense looking at God's work this way. Who knows.

I guess that's the point. God knows. Not me.



 Read More 

Even now, says the Lord, return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, and weeping, and mourning; Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the Lord, your God. For gracious and merciful is he, slow to anger, rich in kindness, and relenting in punishment. Perhaps he will again relent and leave behind him a blessing...
Joel 2, 12-14a



Ash Wednesday, and I did it all. Fasting. Weeping. Mourning. Rending heart. Well, most of it. The "return to the Lord, your God" is in process.

My day started out at the doctors office. 7:30 am. That alone is mortification. The early appointment was to insure I would not be late for work. I left too sore to go to work. Stopped by my local church hoping for Mass and ashes. Too late. Drove to another church. Just a little late. Stayed through ashes and Eucharist.

I came home, had toast with a smear of low fat cream cheese (ever notice how low fat cheese kind of shines, plastic-like? Not good.) and sat at my computer to work on revising, yet again, my book proposal. Read More 

"A Morte da floresta é o fim da nossa vida" which is Portuguese for "The death of the forest is the end of our life."
(The quote printed on the white t-shirt often worn by Dorothy Stang.)




In "Give Us This Day," a reflection on the life and mission of Sr. Dorothy Stang, murdered advocate for poor farmers in the Brazilian Amazon and the rainforest that is their home, was places on the page facing this morning's Mass reading from Genesis 1:20-2,4a. It seems fitting to reflect on the life of the courageous woman from Dayton, Ohio and the words of scripture recounting God's creating the universe and this earth out of primal chaos. "God looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good."

So did Dorothy. She loved the rainforest and the poor people it shelters and helped indigenous people farm small plots enabling them to make a living without decimating the forest. She gave her life protecting them and their home from greedy land owners and loggers who exploited both for personal gain. Dorothy was murdered walking on her way to a meeting with local farmers, the Bible her only "weapon."  Read More 

Saint Scholastica peers at me from this small bronze plaque as I work on the computer typing out blogs, columns, books, and emails. I found the plaque in gift shop just outside the Great Hall on Saint John's campus in Collegeville. Finding images of Scholastica is difficult, and I was happy with the discovery. Today is her feast in the Roman Catholic Church's calendar.

Not much is known about Scholastica. She is the twin sister of St. Benedict, and like her brother, she founded a monastic community. Her convent was not far from his monastery and once a year they met part way between both to spend a day in conversation about the spiritual life. I can't imagine that other more mundane topics common between brothers and sisters were not discussed.

Whatever filled their hours, the last time they met, Scholastica did not want her brother and his companions to leave. I am reminded of an evening I spent with some Cistercians in the company of John Howard Griffin. It was time to go. The monks had to sleep. They got up at 3am. But Griffin did not want the evening to end, and neither did I. He asked over and over if we wouldn't like to stay.  Read More 

Originally published in the Catholic Times, Feb. 10 issue









Ohio Dominican University celebrated the feast of Saint Thomas Aquinas with their annual Convocation in this year featuring a lecture by theologian Fr. Thomas F. O’Meara, OP titled “Vast Universe: Extraterrestrials and Christian Revelation” (Also the title of his latest book). O’Meara’s presentation treated those attending with the opportunity to stretch their minds and understanding of Christian revelation here on earth by considering the possibility of free, intelligent extraterrestrial life sharing with human beings a capacity for relationship with God, the Creator of all.

He began with a quick review of the growing body of scientific knowledge of the universe gathered in part from increasingly powerful telescopes that probe its vast expanse. Scientists estimate the existence of about 125 billion galaxies each holding billions of stars. The Drake Equation that looks at probabilities of the existence of intelligent life on other planets, suggests that in our galaxy alone, the possibility lies anywhere from one thousand to one million intelligent civilizations.

In his lecture, O’Meara moved into considering how this speculation impacts Christian understanding of Jesus of Nazareth as the revelation of God.

No problem, I thought as I scribbled notes in my journal, having long entertained the probability of intelligent creatures existing somewhere in the universe. How could they not? Two favorite authors came to mind: Madeleine L’Engle, in the book “A Wrinkle in Time,” shows her young protagonists meeting Centaur-like creatures on planet Uriel, their first stop along a cosmic journey battling evil. These creatures exist in what we might call a “Garden of Eden” state, always filled with light and love. At a later point in the story, gentle sightless creatures who live on planet Ixchel healed the space travelers from an encounter with evil.  Read More 

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you."
Jer 5, 17

"At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am known.
1 Paul, 13, 13

"Indeed, I tell you, there were many widows in Israel in the days of Elijah when the sky was closed for three and a half years and a severe famine spread over the entire land. It was to none of those that Elijah was sent, but only to a widow in Zarephath in the land of Sidon."
Lk 4,



Saturday Mass at the small parish church was rocking. Despite the sparse number of cars in the parking lot, the congregation and choir sang their hearts out. The pianist played with power and flourish. I softly tried out some harmonies, tapping my fingers on the pew in front of me and tapping my toes inside my snow boots. The choice of hymns and inclusion of guitars spoke to my 60's heart and I decided I would email an old friend and thank him for the decades of guitar and song he has given to churches around town.

Those gathered on the snowy evening moved through song into repentance, giving glory, and then sat to listen to ancient words proclaimed by their friends. Something happens when God speaks to you with the voice of the woman down the street who tells you that God knew you from before you were born or that everything passes away, prophecies, speech, knowledge. Everything but love. She is different when she reads those words. And we are different hearing them.

Then the priest reads the gospel where Jesus tells us that God didn't sent prophets to the good widows of Israel or to its suffering lepers, but to a widow in a city of dubious repute and to a Syrian leper. The people listening to Jesus were ticked. They were the chosen after all. What was he trying to say? That God loved someone else more? Impossible. Read More