Mary van Balen

(Originally published in the Catholic Times, April 5, 2012 © 2012 Mary van Balen)



“Are you going to make some this year?” my sister asked as she looked at hot cross buns sitting off to the right in the restaurant’s generous display of pastries and muffins. She was referring to my annual baking of dozens of the Easter treats and giving them away to family, friends, and neighbors. I didn’t bake any last year. We were beginning to clean out our parents’ home, readying it for sale. I didn’t have the heart.

“I hope so,” I replied, not able to make the commitment. Dad died in September. A contract on the house is pending and I am keeping my first Lent in a new flat. I do hope so. Baking and sharing hot cross buns is as good for my spirit as I hope receiving them is for others. Besides, the world is hungry for more than bread, and the small raisin-filled rolls sealed with a white icing cross dripping over their shiny domes carry more than sweetness and calories. They are packed with promise and the baker’s humble efforts to participate in the Easter Mystery. To be bread.

In her book, “Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis,” Lauren Winner tells of a similar experience. After coming home from church on Sunday afternoons, she baked muffins and loaves of bread, and wanting to feed others as she had been fed at Mass, she left them on doorsteps around town.

It is a priest’s heart. It is God’s heart. It is the heart of Jesus living in each one of us that sees hunger and wants to feed it. That sees need and wants to meet it. That sees suffering and wants to stop it.  Read More 

I slipped into the pew a little late and noticed the lovely palm branches. Some people held them in their hands, some had laid them on the seat behind them. A few secured them with the hat clips on the pew backs, relics of days when hats were ordinary attire for men. They were not the long slender palm buds that my father had woven into crosses or interesting cone shapes when I was a child. These were the dark green leaves of the Emerald Palm and this was first time I had seen them.

As the familiar passion story was proclaimed, my mind wandered. When the story told of Jesus standing before the high priest, I thought of people today, standing in a court room, perhaps with families and supporters attending; perhaps the accused were alone. What dread fills their hearts? Remorse for the guilty ones? Anger for those wrongly accused? What fear for those who love them?

I thought of the emotions of those gathered in support of Travon Martin's parents in Miami. Thousands gathered. I wondered about the family and friends of George Zimmerman in the face of a growing movement and escalating tensions across the country. I thought of all those in our prison system. I thought of the obscurity of most of their cases. And I thought of Jesus.  Read More 

When in Creation

When in creation life is lost, the powers of God seem weak.
When young and old are swept away by rivers in the streets,
We seek the wisdom that ordained the sun to rule the day,
and pray to God that lives be saved and hope will find a way.

Where is the goodness of our God when seas force life to die?
Where is the powerful love of God when people hurt and cry?
Lord, how your wonders are displayed, wher e’er I turn my eye,
O God, our help in ages past, be with the world today.

from: © Tommy Shephard (26 December 2004) published by the United Methodist Church, Board of Discipleship


Some images coming out of Japan are too painful to look at for long. Unimaginable suffering. In the face of such tragedy, prayer seems inadequate.

Thinking of Psalms of Lament, I spoke with Kathryn Rickert, a friend who is an adjunct professor at Seattle University who has made a study of the Biblical prayer of lament and asked about our faith response in such times.

"Part of the problem.... from where we are safe and sound in the USA, is that we can' t actually lament
unless we see ourselves in the disaster with the people of Japan. From this distance, we are praying for them. To pray for is not the same as to lament with."

Those of us not in the midst of the unfolding catastrophe in Japan still have lamenting to do.  Read More 

PHOTO:Mary van Balen
"BROTHER, SISTER, LET ME SERVE YOU; LET ME BE AS CHRIST TO YOU; PRAY THAT I MAY HAVE THE GRACE TO LET YOU BE MY SERVANT, TOO."

QUOTES: 'The Servant Song'by Richard Gillard, 1977 Text and Music copyright ©1977 Scripture in Song (Admin. by Maranatha! Music) Hear song sung by composer

My heart moved within me as I sung this song at Mass today. Truly, I have received grace to accept to gift of Christ given to me through many others in my life and especially over the past months.




"WE ARE PILGRIMS ON A JOURNEY, WE ARE FAMILY ON THE ROAD; WE ARE HERE TO HELP EACH OTHER WALK THE MILE AND BEAR THE LOAD."

The mile we walk and the load we carry changes as time flows by. The friends who walk with us at one moment are not always the same ones who companion us later, but their gift of support remains. We are strong support for others during some stages of life, and at different stages we need support in ways that surprise us.
 Read More 

Photo: Gabbra Wooden Cup - Sueno Studio

He said to her, “What do you wish?” She answered him, “Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus said to her in reply, “You do not know what your are asking. Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?” They said to him, “We can.”


When I was nine or ten, I knew I wanted to be especially close to God. That was my desire, and in my innocence and naiveté, I thought that closeness would make me special to God. I remembered that as I read today’s gospel. Unlike James and John, I wasn’t hoping for power, but like them, I didn’t understand what being close to God and doing Jesus work would mean in my life. Read More