Mary van Balen

Originally published in the Catholic Times

Sunday’s readings from Deuteronomy and from Luke emphasize two things: God’s law is the law of love, and it resides deep within each of us, as close as our mouths and our hearts. The Old Testament reading is taken from the end of Moses’ speech to the Israelites who had completed the long wanderings in the desert and were on the brink of entering the Promised Land.

Moses had recapped the struggles of their journey, told them blessings come from their curse, and that God would gather them back from the nations where they were scattered. The command Moses gave to the people, to turn back to God with their entire being, was attainable. Unlike Gilgamesh, the hero of the ancient Mesopotamian epic, who traveled to the ends of the earth, to the depths of the sea, and to the heavens, in search of the secrets of the gods, the Israelites had God’s word on their lips and in their hearts. They had only to obey it.

In the gospel reading from Luke, when a scholar asks Jesus what he must do to attain eternal life, Jesus answers with a question: “What is written in the law?” The scholar replies that the law is to Love God with one’s whole being and to love one’s neighbor as one’s self. Jesus tells the scholar to go and live out the law.

Why did the scholar persist in questioning Jesus? Read More 

I wrote a guest blog for Dr. Kelley Winters' site, commenting on Dr. Drescher's letter to the New York Times and the importance of transsexual children being able to socially transition at a young age. Written from my perspective as a mother, it offers some different insights into the issue. Check it out href = http://gidreform.wordpress.com/2013/07/10/response-to-dr-jack-drescher-and-the-new-york-times-about-childhood-transition-part-5-guest-blog/>here. Read More 

In the print edition of the June 30 the New York Times, published a letter by Dr. Jack Drescher with the headline Sunday Dialogue: Our Notions of Gender. In the letter, Dr. Drescher comments on Coy Mathis and the Colorado Division of Civil Rights' decision to allow her to use the girls restroom in school. He continues with comments about gender dysphoric children and possible therapies for them.

His letter has prompted numerous responses both in the NYT and on websites and blogs. I found Dr. Kelley Winter's blog GID Reform Weblog full of interesting information and comment.

I stand with those who advocate allowing children to transition socially, giving them to opportunity to grow up as the person they know themselves to be. I applaud the Colorado Civil Rights Division decision. The California legislature's recent passing of a bill allowing students K-12 to use the restroom that matches their gender identity and presentation is also a step in the right direction. This bill also allows students to participate in sports and use locker rooms aligned with their gender identity Read More 

Today's Old Testament reading is one of my favorites. From Genesis 28, 10-22a, it tells the story of Jacob stopping to sleep while journeying to find a wife from his mother's people. He takes a stone for a pillow and dreams of a ladder, or ramp, stretching from the earth to the heavens, filled with angels or messengers ascending and descending. In the dream, God was looking over him and promised the land to Jacob and his descendants, who would be "like the dust of the earth," a blessing to "all the clans of the earth."

"And look," God continues, "I am with you and I will guard you wherever you go and I will being you back to this land, for I will not leave you until I have done that which I have spoken to you."

Jacob woke up and said, "Indeed, the Lord is in this place, and I did not know." He stands the stone used for a pillow upright, pours oil over it, and uses it to mark the holy place, calling it Bethel, the house of God.

I am often like Jacob.  Read More 

Using a public restroom has never been a problem for me. I looked for the "woman" sign, in its various depictions, and walked right in. No thought. But that is not true for all of us.

I have accompanied transsexual women to retail stores, movies, and other public places where the dilemma of which bathroom to use causes a lot of stress. Going into the men's bathroom dressed as a woman was unthinkable. Entering the women's bathroom had its own problems. How would people look at them? Would they be rude or worse? We've heard horror stories of transswomen being abused for using the women's restroom.

If adult women feel pressure, imagine the confusion and stress felt by students deciding which bathroom to use at school.

So, California's passing AB1266 is a step in the right direction.Read more hereThe bill allows students K-12 to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity, not necessarily their physical body parts. The bill also permits students to participate in gendered sports and the appropriate locker rooms. Read More 

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.

1 John 4:18 (NRSVCE)

Today I read a blog on Huffington Post by Linda Rovertson,
Just Because He Breathes: Learning to Truly Love Our Gay Son. It moved me for many reasons.

First, I am familiar with fear taking over when really, all I wanted to do was love. When my daughter confided in me that she was transsexual and had known since she was a toddler, all I wanted to do was love her.

"I love you. I always will. God loves you. That will never change."

I spoke the words. And I meant them. But I was not perfect in love, as 1John 4:18 states. I was afraid of many things: Of my daughter getting hurt. Of hatred in the world for people like her. Of how friends and family would react. Of what her revelation would mean for all who loved her. So, instead of being free to love and to celebrate with her, I was afraid and wondered if there might not be some way to "fix" it.

I needed time and my daughter's love to make my journey past fear. Read More