Mary van Balen

Originally published in the Catholic Times, vol 62:27

“Rituals are important,” my friend said as we gathered around the dinner table on Holy Thursday evening. The four of us read prayers together, broke bread, shared wine, and then poured water from a ceramic vase over each other’s hands, praying a blessing as we did. Later we joined with others in our parish to celebrate the Mass that began the Easter Triduum, three days packed with liturgical ritual.

As the Easter season continues, I find myself pondering ritual in life outside church sanctuaries as well as within them. My friend is right. Rituals are important. They provide tangible symbols of realities we cannot see or touch, but experience interiorly. They provide a link to people or places that are part of our history. They help us step out of routine and focus on truths that guide our lives. They help us remember the Holy Presence in which we live.

I arrived at my friends’ home that evening and noticed the small ceramic plate and cup, pitcher and bowl that shared the table’s center with a vase of daffodils and palm fronds. I had eaten dinner with them on other Holy Thursdays but had forgotten about the ritual until that moment. Holding the bread, touching the cup slowed me down.  Read More 

Even now, says the Lord, return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, and weeping, and mourning; Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the Lord, your God. For gracious and merciful is he, slow to anger, rich in kindness, and relenting in punishment. Perhaps he will again relent and leave behind him a blessing...
Joel 2, 12-14a



Ash Wednesday, and I did it all. Fasting. Weeping. Mourning. Rending heart. Well, most of it. The "return to the Lord, your God" is in process.

My day started out at the doctors office. 7:30 am. That alone is mortification. The early appointment was to insure I would not be late for work. I left too sore to go to work. Stopped by my local church hoping for Mass and ashes. Too late. Drove to another church. Just a little late. Stayed through ashes and Eucharist.

I came home, had toast with a smear of low fat cream cheese (ever notice how low fat cheese kind of shines, plastic-like? Not good.) and sat at my computer to work on revising, yet again, my book proposal. Read More 

"Well, Hello!" Rita's voice came over my cell. I couldn't believe we had connected, expecting instead to leave a message.

"Happy Birthday!" I said.

"You're on top of things," she replied, no doubt surprised by the early hour of the call. Our forty-four years of friendship had made it clear that I was NOT a morning person. Still, rising early for the chance of spending a few minutes in conversation with my friend was an easy choice.

Rita and I met as freshman at the College of Saint Francis, in Joliet, IL. In fact, since her aunt was the dean of women at that time, Rit had the opportunity to look through letters written by applicants to choose her roommate. We still can't figure out why she chose me. I had written nothing. Nothing about myself. I imagine I just filled in what was required and sent the application on its way.

Looking back, Rita would say it was God. And I would agree. Not only has our friendship spanned over four decades, but through introductions to people who were part of my life, Rita found her life's work in serving the poor and mentally challenged in Appalachia. And me? I found a blessing.

We shared train rides to and from Chicago on the passenger line that provided her grandfather with his job as porter. Her father had a restaurant near the station. We took our guitars and had sing a longs in the dining car. We headed small protests to make changes in the all girls college dress code, generally caused a bit of uproar, and made two other friendships that have also endured.

Rita is not a great communicator, at least to those who are not part of her day, but despite few letters or calls, we connect immediately when we do talk. Today my intent was to celebrate the blessing she has been on the earth for sixty plus years. I did. She also supported me as I continue to deal with the emotional aftermath of divorce and the realities of trying to make ends meet.

In the end we marveled together over a small nature preserve near Peebles, OH, Davis Memorial Park, and a tiny creature that lives in the ice cold water of the cave there.  Read More 

Noon prayer did it. Three funerals in the Abbey Church that day, so I successfully navigated the maze beneath it and found the small chapel where prayers would be said. Two psalms spoke:

"Have mercy on me, O God, in your faithful love, in your great tenderness wipe away my offences; wash me clean from my guilt, purify me from my sin. For I am well aware of my offences, my sin is constantly in mind." Ps 51, 1-3.

Well, I hadn't been well aware of anything until I prayed that line. Perhaps it was hearing the words in communal voice, but I knew what I had done: I had forgotten what I had been given, and not been thankful.

Lately, I have been more aware of what I haven't been given: a job that feeds my spirit and makes better use of my gifts; a job that pays the bills; a home for my book revised, revised, and revised again; vision for my future...

As I prayed, I was suddenly embarrassed. How could I focus so much on what seems missing and overlook the gifts...

-The opportunity to come to the Institute, attend the writing workshop and pray at the Abbey. Reconnecting with old friends and making new ones.
-A fulltime job.
-Health. Home.
-Close family.
-Supportive friends.
The list could go on, but the point was made. I had sinned. Read More 

Last night, after dinner and prayer, my spirituality group blessed my new flat! A beautiful surprise. One arrived with a sprig of green and placed it in a vase on the buffet. When the evening was drawing to a close, Noreen said, "There are six spaces here, and six of us. Each pick a space and bless it, speaking from your heart."

Dipping the green into a bowl of water, Ann went without hesitation to the kitchen where she sprinkled the counter built by my brother, the stove, sink, and pantry made by my daughter and spoke of the joy of preparing food for self and friends, and hoped I would enjoy this kitchen space as much as she enjoys hers.

Denis took the sprig and blessed the dining area and table where friends and family gather. "May they be filled and satisfied not only with food, but with spirit."

Lavonne took the sprig. "We're traveling," she said and walked to the bathroom where the colorful "map of the world" shower curtain adds brightness to the small space. Read More 

"Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more." Lk 12. 48

Today's gospel reading begins with Jesus warning "...if the Master of the house had known the hour when the thief was coming, he would not have let his house be broken into. You also must be prepared, for at an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come...." LK 12. 39-41

Peter asks if this message is meant for the disciples or for everyone. Jesus continues with the story of servants who do good and faithful work while their master is away. When the master returns, the servant is rewarded by increased responsibilities. The servant who abuses power while the master is away, squandering food and drink and mistreating those in his care will be punished and demoted from a position of trust to one of severe servitude.

He ends with the advice much is expected from those who are given much.

Who IS given much? What are their responsibilities? Unlike Peter, I know these words are meant for me, for all of us, today. One thing I pondered is the "much." Jesus didn't say money, or power, or material goods. He just said "much. Read More 

“The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son... “Then he sent some more servants and said, ‘Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.’ Mt 22, 1-2;4


"I'm too frazzled!" my older sister, Jan, said as she walked back into the front door of her home a minute after having left. "I'm looking for my phone. Have you seen it? I'll call my self. If you hear it ring, bring it out to the car. I'll go out as see if I have it somewhere in my purse."

She disappeared through the door again. I heard no ring, walked to the front door, looked out, and saw her giving me a thumbs up. I walked back to the kitchen, hung up the phone and smiled as I looked at the cake and supplies waiting in the family room for pick up.

My sister's youngest of five children (and only daughter) had been married in Texas two months ago. Today Jan and Howard are having a reception for the new couple in their hometown for family and friends who were unable to make the trip to Texas.

No wonder Jan was feeling frazzled. Despite a troublesome back and a full schedule helping with grandchildren, involvement in an outreach to the poor in a crowded urban city, and various commitments to her church community, Jan had managed to bake her wonderful carrot cake into a large, three tiered wedding cake. Read More 

You visit the earth and water it,
make it abundantly fertile.
God's stream is filled with water...
...Thus do you prepare the earth; you drench plowed furrows,
and level their ridges.
With showers you keep the ground soft,
blessing its young sprouts...
your paths drip with fruitful rain.
The untilled meadows also drip...

Morning Prayer Ps65,10-13


Last night, I lay in bed listening to the storm. Thunder rumbled, lightening illumined pulled window shades, and rain pummeled the roof. Storms at night comfort me as I lay in darkness, trying to put the days events to rest. Rain. Water. Ancient symbols of God's blessings fell all round me. Springtime earth soaked it up. So did I.

A few nights ago, I visited my sky gazing friend, Melanie, to celebrate the super moon. I arrived while she was still at church, so looping a monocular around my neck and sliding a camera in my pocket, I took a slow walk around her property.

The first thing I noticed was the boggy path, covered with earth-hugging green and oozing water at every step. Read More 

The Lord said to Abram, ‘Leave your country, your family and your father’s house, for the land I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name so famous that it will be used as a blessing.
‘I will bless those who bless you:
I will curse those who slight you.
All the tribes of the earth
shall bless themselves by you.’
So Abram went as the Lord told him.

Genesis 12:1-4

The first reading today tells the story of Abram's call from God to leave his home and follow God to some unnamed place. Abram does as he is instructed, even with scanty information.

As Jaques Guillet points out in his article on "Blessings" in "Dictionary of Biblical Theology," this blessing marked a turning point, it was a "new kind of blessing." After many chapters of curses after sin made its entrance into the world, God addresses Abram with a blessing not only for himself or his family, but for all peoples on the earth. This is the beginning of the unfolding of salvation history.

Why Abram? Scriptures do not tell us, but they do record his (and Sara's) response; obedience. What did it mean for he and Sara to leave family, friends, homeland for an unknown destination? Did the ones behind think the couple was crazy or odd? How did they explain their move to people who worshiped many gods?

While no history of Abram and his wife are given, we know they were people of faith. That alone is enough to answer "Why them?" People with faith strong enough to enable them to trust their lives and their future to an unknown God.

When unknowns fill our lives, we might remember Abram and Sara, their trust that led through difficult times, but eventually to great blessings. God did not abandon them, nor will we be left alone. God walks with us.
 Read More 

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

"Have a good evening," Kim said as I left work last night.

"I will. I'm going to a Christmas dinner with some friends."

"CHRISTMAS? Girlfriend, Christmas is over. We are getting ready for Valentine's Day!" she said, smiling.

"When I was growing up, the tree went up on Christmas Eve and came down after the Epiphany. That's January 6th. I like to savor the holiday."

Savoring it I am. A kindred spirit, Ann still had decorations up. The living room was glowing with a Christmas tree; candles and poinsettias brightened the room where we gathered, but the most delightful adornment was the people around the table sharing good food, conversation, and coffee. As Emerson said, "The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it." Read More