Mary van Balen

Originally appeared in the Catholic Times, issue: May 12, 2013

When beginning studies for a Masters Degree in theology, I was in the midst of a difficult time in other areas of my life. Perhaps it was Providence that one book assigned for a seminar was Ronald Rolheiser’s The Holy Longing. The instructor required each member of the class to prepare a presentation on a particular chapter. Mine was “The Paschal Mystery.” That was almost eight years ago, and I still find hope and wisdom in Rolheiser’s presentation of that holy mystery.

Rolheiser put a colloquial twist on the Ascension, describing its message this way: “Do not cling to the old, let it ascend and give you its blessing.” A necessary step to Pentecost, where we accept the Spirit for the moment we are living.

I had always thought of the Ascension as an event in Jesus’ life, not in my own. He told his disciples during their last meal before his death that his going away is necessary:”…for if I do not go away, the Counselor will not come to your; but if I go, I will send him to you.” Death. That was Jesus’ first “going away.”

His followers were devastated. Confused and afraid, they talked, and waited, and worried. I’m sure they prayed, but perhaps it was the same type of prayer we hold in our hearts when life takes turns we do not understand, and we cannot find God anywhere in it.

Then came the resurrection. Jesus was back! He shared food with them, blessed them, and walked with them. When they finally realized who he was, they must have been euphoric. But there was a problem: He wasn’t going to stay. Read More 

Maybe it's because I just had a conversation with my sister about the Roman Catholic church's secrecy around its position paper on transsexuality. (Even enlisting the help of members of the hierarchy, I could not access the Vatican's position document on transsexuality issued "sub secretum" in 2000 and later sent to presidents of bishops' conferences.)

Maybe it's because I have written and talked to political representatives about passing laws to provide job and housing protection for transsexuals to no avail.

Maybe it's because I have a transsexual daughter.

Maybe it's because I have admired the Episcopalian's willingness to discuss difficult moral issues openly and to include in the conversation everyone from the Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori to the person in the pew. (Saint Benedict would be proud. See Rule of Saint Benedict, Chapter 3

Maybe it's because, like so many others, I grow tired of waiting.

Maybe it's all of the above. No matter. I am heartened by the Episcopalian decision to officially welcome and include transgender people in the ranks of clergy as well as adding transgender people to the non-discrimination canons. I agree with Rev. Susan Russell who said in her column, Episcopal Church Makes Landmark Decision for Transgender Inclusion, July 9, 2012 was a good day to be an Episcopalian.

A good day to be someone who trusts that the Spirit is dynamically present in the people of God, and that includes me and you and the two ladies down the street, and the young child who is afraid to say anything about how she is feeling about the wrongness of her body. A good day to be someone who trusts that the Spirit has something to say to the rest of us through the experience of their lives.

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Despite having to drive across town, I decided to attend St. Thomas the Apostle for Pentecost Sunday. It had been home to me for almost two years while I was living with my father. Over sixty years before, St. Thomas had been my parents' parish. I was baptized there. For the past year I have been going to various churches, trying to attend closer to my little flat. I have found some good places, but today, I wanted to "go home" for the feast.

Like any real "home," the folks there take you in, no matter how long you have been away. One of my favorite ushers hugged me back with a smile when I could not resist giving him a warm greeting despite arriving a bit late. When I walked up the aisle to find a seat, a woman offered me a place in her pew.

"Mary, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yes, yes. And you are..." I was embarrassed by the lack of recall. She didn't mind. Once I heard her name, I knew it well: her family and my family go way back. I settled in and looked around, happy to see so many familiar faces.

I came hoping for an infusion of spirit. A week ago I confessed to my spiritual director that I was low on energy. I wanted to move ahead, discern direction, etc. etc, but I just didn't have much spiritual oomph. Read More 

On this feast of the Ascension, I offer the reflections of two Catholic's on the subject, one a theologian and the other a specialist in the fields of spirituality and systematic theology. The first is Karl Rahner, a German Jesuit whose contributions including those at Vatican II have made him one of the most influential theologians of the twentieth century. In the book The Great Church Year: The Best of Karl Rahner's Homilies, Sermons, and Meditations, he writes of the gift of the Spirit which is the gift of the Ascension. Though through his leaving Jesus seems to be removed from us, he is really closer to us than he could have been in the flesh: He dwells within us in the Spirit.

"We notice nothing of this, and that is why the ascension seems to be a separation. But it is a separation only for our paltry consciousness. We must will to believe in such a nearness--in the Holy Spirit.

The ascension is the universal event of salvation history that must recur in each individual, in our personal salvation history through grace. When we become poor, then we become rich. When the lights of the world grow dark, then we are bathed in light...When we think we feel only a waste and emptiness of the heart, when all the joy of celebrating appears to be only official fuss, because the real truth around us cannot yet be admitted, then we are in truth better prepared for the real feast of the Ascension than we might suppose."

Hmm...How does that work, in my life? In yours? Read More 

But now ask the beasts to teach you,/ the birds of the air to tell you;/Or speak to the earth to instruct you,/ and the fish of the sea to inform you./Which of these does not know/that the hand of God has done this? Job 12. 7-9 from Morning Prayer



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The Scripture reading from Morning Prayer today (Proverbs 8. , 32-36) as well as the OT reading from Mass (Ws 7. 22b-8.1) speak of the importance of seeking Wisdom and Understanding: "Happy are those who keep my ways. Listen to instruction and grow wise...Happy the one who listens to me, attending daily at my gates, keeping watch at my doorstep."







Opening oneself to Wisdom is a daily affair. The Holy One is always pouring out Divine Self, Wisdom, and we are called to "attend daily."

The reading from Mass beautifully describes Wisdom in all her feminine glory. She is spirit, which means, as any reference to Spirit or to Holy One, that Wisdom/Spirit is neither male or female as we define gender. Spirit is beyond human gender. Of course, Christians are accustomed to hearing male pronouns when reading or speaking about God. Today's reading from Wisdom is refreshingly filled with feminine pronouns - perhaps more noticeable to the women among us. Read More 

PHOTO:MARY VAN BALEN
Then the temple police went back to the chief priests and Pharisees, who asked them, “Why did you not arrest him?” The police answered, “Never has anyone spoken like this!” Then the Pharisees replied, “Surely you have not been deceived too, have you? Has any one of the authorities or of the Pharisees believed in him? But this crowd, which does not know the law—they are accursed.”
Jn 7, 45-50

Something exists in the Roman Catholic Church called "sensus fidelium,” or “the sense of the faithful.” It is not something we hear much about, but it means that the affirmation of a particular doctrine or teaching being in keeping with the deep understanding of our faith is in keeping with the resides not only in the intellects and knowledge of theologians and church authorities, but also in the hearts of ordinary faithful Christians. Their acceptance of the teaching is evidenced by the incorporation of it into practice. When a doctrine or teaching is not accepted or when it is actively resisted the magisterium should review it: It may not be in keeping with our faith and experience of God, or the doctrine may have been poorly communicated, blurring the truth it attempts to express.

I am reminded of sensus fidelium when I hear the Pharisees question the temple police in this reading. Read More