Mary van Balen

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.

1 John 4:18 (NRSVCE)

Today I read a blog on Huffington Post by Linda Rovertson,
Just Because He Breathes: Learning to Truly Love Our Gay Son. It moved me for many reasons.

First, I am familiar with fear taking over when really, all I wanted to do was love. When my daughter confided in me that she was transsexual and had known since she was a toddler, all I wanted to do was love her.

"I love you. I always will. God loves you. That will never change."

I spoke the words. And I meant them. But I was not perfect in love, as 1John 4:18 states. I was afraid of many things: Of my daughter getting hurt. Of hatred in the world for people like her. Of how friends and family would react. Of what her revelation would mean for all who loved her. So, instead of being free to love and to celebrate with her, I was afraid and wondered if there might not be some way to "fix" it.

I needed time and my daughter's love to make my journey past fear. Read More 

I intended to write about some thought provoking articles in The Christian Century, but I clicked on the television to check news and watched the PBS special on the Freedom Riders instead. I was eleven in May, 1961, but remember news broadcast images of the Civil Rights struggle including some of the Freedom Riders. Watching the special last night was both horrifying and inspiring.

I know people who have marched with MLK Jr. in Selma and one who worked with the bus boycott in Montgomery. As a teenager, I joined in protests for the Farm Workers Union and marched in protests against the Viet Nam war. Facing National Guard bayonets on my college campus, I experienced rubbery knees and covered my nose and mouth with wet towels to lessen the effects of tear gas.

None of these actions of mine required the raw courage of those college students who became "The Freedom Riders." Trained in non-violent resistance, these young people knew they were likely going to face beatings, arrest, and possibly death, yet boarded the buses anyway, intent on calling national attention to the immortality of segregation and the need to change Jim Crow laws. Read More 

Here is my servant whom I uphold,
my chosen one with whom I am pleased,
Upon whom I have put my Spirit;
he shall bring forth justice to the nations,
Not crying out, not shouting,
not making his voice heard in the street.
A bruised reed he shall not break,
and a smoldering wick he shall not quench,
Until he establishes justice on the earth;
the coastlands will wait for his teaching.

Thus says God, the LORD,
who created the heavens and stretched them out,
who spreads out the earth with its crops,
Who gives breath to its people
and spirit to those who walk on it:
I, the LORD, have called you for the victory of justice,
I have grasped you by the hand;
I formed you, and set you
as a covenant of the people,
a light for the nations,
To open the eyes of the blind,
to bring out prisoners from confinement,
and from the dungeon, those who live in darkness.
Is 47,1-7


Today's first reading eloquently describes the one sent by God to bring justice to the world. The images of gentleness come to mind when I watch a candle holding on to a wavering flame or carefully remove a bent flower stem and preserve the bloom by placing its shortened stalk into a tiny vase of water.

Isaiah does not reveal a blustery savior but one who is self effacing. Verses 6-7 describe the God who sent the Servant in an equally compassionate way: This is the One who created the earth, filled it with crops, and inspirited the people who populate it. This is a God concerned about the poor, the imprisoned, the sick. This is our God, pained by injustice.

As I read this passage today, I lingered over the line "I have grasped you by the hand..."  Read More 

How long did Lazarus need before he heard and recognized the command of his God to get up and embrace life once again? Thinking of accounts of those who claim to have had experiences of death and then a return to life, I wonder if Lazarus wanted to come back.

As I sit with the image, I begin to see that small black silhouette of Jesus and know he is calling to me. Calling to me in my dark places, places that need the redeeming touch of Grace. Do I hear? How long has he been calling my name? Do I want to come out or am I comfortable with the habits, feelings, and situations that keep me bound up, unable to live life fully as I am made to do? Sometimes, our darkness offers the comfort of familiarity. It is our darkness after all, and we may feel some sense of control by our freedom to choose to stay in its grip.  Read More 

PHOTO: Internet Movie Database
The movie, "Agora," tells the story of Hypatia, the great female mathematician, philosopher, and scientist of ancient Egypt during the fifth century CE. The story follows atheist Edward Gibbon's account of the destruction of the great library in Alexandria that has Christians destroying the collected wisdom of the ancient world. While a number of ancient sources place the burning of the library well before the time of Christ let alone the life of Hypatia, the library's destruction was likely not due to a single event but to many, some as mundane as crumbling papyrus and lack of time, money, and interest to maintain such a huge collection.(see The Mysterious Fate of the Great Library of Alexandria, Bede's Library, James Hannam ; The Great "Library" of Alexandria?" by Heather Phillips; Library of Alexandria, Wikipedia; The Burning of the Library of Alexandria by Preston Chesser . )

While the story of Hypatia, an independent woman in the male domain of scholarship, the history of Alexandria, and the fate of the library kept me riveted to the screen, the theme of intolerance and violence born of religious fanaticism was uncomfortably current. Read More