Mary van Balen

My week-long vacation began with a foggy drive through West Virginia and Virginia that necessitated an unplanned overnight in Lexington, VA. The stay was nice, though, and gave us a chance to slow down. One shouldn't have to hurry into a "vacation." Strictly speaking, I was the one headed for weeks vacation. My daughter would take off a few days to spend with me at the beach, but our friend was headed back to work after attending a wedding. No matter. I think we all enjoyed a good night's sleep and arriving in Williamsburg in daylight.

The first day I did a lot of sleeping and reading, surprised at how tired I was. Tuesday I took my daughter to work and wrote a couple of blogs at a local coffee shop before going to visit a friend. Wednesday began four amazing days: First seeing the Dalai Lama, next going to the beach, and finally, seeing the presidential motorcade and the president himself as he arrived at Kings Mill Resort.  Read More 

The day had been long. Work. Haircut. Doctor's appointment. Late dinner with friends. I had met them at a restaurant I had not been to before and had difficulty finding a parking place downtown. When I returned to my car I found a ticket on the windshield: The spot was in a residential permit area. Sigh. I'm not used to thinking about residential permit areas. Mom's words came to me: "In a year you'll never know where that money went. Don't worry." Thanks, mom. Worrier extraorinaire over some things, she was right about this one.

I had had a wonderful evening, been treated to a marvelous dinner. So, why obsess about a small parking ticket? So, I didn't. On the drive home, instead of worrying about $40, I recalled parts of the conversations. One of the dinner party, Vicki, is a rabbi, and she shared the story of finding the torah for her new congregation ten years ago. An amazing story of a Polish rabbi in the 1940's giving the torah to a Catholic friend to keep until the deported Jews would return. Of course, they never did. The torah came to the US and using the internet, Vicki found a few members of that Polish congregation who had come to live in Brooklyn, not far from her congregation. This story goes on.

Another story: Among the nine of us sitting around the table, two had recently learned of the transsexuality of either a relative or friend. With my daughter, that made three. We shared stories. I promised to let them know when my book on the topic is published, and I wondered how many others in the restaurant that night might have similar stories. Harold had a good way of expressing the need we all have: To become more "wide minded." Indeed.

By the time I arrived home, I was thankful for the richness and fun of the evening. Then I opened the door.  Read More 

PHOTOS: Mary van Balen

"Exultation is the going
of an inland soul to the sea
Past houses – past headlands–
Into deep Eternity." Emily Dickinson

Such was the gift my daughter gave to me last week in celebration of my 60th birthday. The deep spiritual connection of my "inland soul" to sea is well known to family and friends, and for me, time at the beach is more retreat than vacation. This trip was no different. Read More 

PHOTO: Mary van Balen
Friends. God's Grace. Emerson said, "The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it." Tonight I would add that they are also the support that keeps it standing.

I have been emotionally fragile for the past week or so. Alone in the early evening, sorting through Christmas ornaments and preparing to pack up the last few things in the house we are selling, I realized I did not have the heart for the work. I called a friend to see if he would like to go out to eat; he had other plans. I stared at the mess for a while and decided what I really wanted to do was drive back home and have dinner; I wished I had someone to share it with me. Read More 

PHOTO: MARY VAN BALEN- Morning Market


This day the Lord, your god, commands you to observe these statutes and decrees. Be careful, then to observe them with all your heart and with all your soul. Today you are making this agreement with the Lord: he is to be your God and you are to walk in his ways and observe his statutes, commandments and decrees, and to hearken to his voice. And today the Lord is making this agreement with you: you are to be a people peculiarly his own.
Dt 26, 16-18a


This morning, when my feet touched the floor and I took a deep breath, I once again entered my sacred agreement with the Holy One: I say “yes” to the gift of my life, whatever it brings, “yes” to God. Today I am making an agreement with God to use my life for good, to follow the example of Jesus, and to avoid actions that allow evil and discord to seep into the world.

The Holy One makes an agreement too: Infinite Love makes me a unique child of God, and we will walk together.

Tonight, when I crawl into bed and burrow under blankets, I know I will have done less good than I might have done and failed more often that I had hoped I would. Yet, I can lay my head on the pillow and rest, assured that God has been faithful to our agreement. I will sleep knowing that despite failure to live up to my end of the bargain, I remain “peculiarly God’s own." When the sun rises I will be offered the agreement once again that day and every day I take a breath.

© 2010 Mary van Balen

e.e.cummings poem i thank You God for most this amazing
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