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Mary van Balen

author columnist presenter educator

THE SCALLOP: Reflections on the Journey

HOLY GROUND

March 7, 2010
Tags: Lent, present to the moment, all earth's crammed with heaven
BYZANTINE MOSAIC: MOSES AND THE BURNING BUSH
Meanwhile Moses was tending the flock of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian. Leading the flock across the desert, he came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There and angel of the Lord appeared to him in the fire flaming out of a bush. As he looked on, he was surprised to see that the bush, though on fire, was not consumed. So, Moses decided, "I must go over to look at this remarkable sight, and see why the bush is not burned."

When the Lord saw him coming over to look at it more closely, God called out to him from the bush, "Moses! Moses!" He answered, "Here I am.: God said, "Come no nearer! Remove the sandals from your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground."
Ex 3, 1-5

This story is so familiar that Moses seeing a burning bush does not surprise. He is Moses, after all, and those kinds of things happened to him. A close reading of the verses paint a different picture. Moses was doing a very ordinary thing: Leading his father-in-law's flock of sheep across the desert. This is like your driving to work, filling out reports, teaching students, doing laundry, going to the grocery store. Moses was doing what he always did.

He was not in a special place. Not doing something unusual. Not expecting to find God around the corner, or in this case, hiding in a bush. Moses was not so different from us getting up every day, making a living and taking care of family. So why did I Am Who Am talk to him from a miraculously flaming shrub? Read More 
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Joyful Beyond Reason

March 6, 2010
Tags: Lent, forgiveness, joy
PHOTO: MARY VAN BALEN OF SILVER GELATIN PRINT BY RAYMOND MEEKS: JOSE' ESTUARDO SOTZ ALVAREZ, BOSTON MA 1992 FOR AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL



My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours. But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because your brother was dead and has come to live again; he was lost and has been found.
LK 15, 31-31




Sometimes when reading Scripture, I am tempted to hurry over or skim passages that are as familiar as this story of the prodigal son. This parable is often used to illustrate God's willingness to forgive when one is repentant or the importance of conversion of heart. Both, of course, are valid interpretations, but what struck me today was the joy of the father. He didn't question his son about wisdom he might have acquired as a result of his licentious activity or even his unsavory work for Gentiles. The son may have had a change of heart or a repentant spirit, but in the story, none of that is discussed. The younger son barely managed his rehearsed statement before his father had servants putting sandals on his feet, a ring on his finger, and a robe around his dirty, skinny shoulders. Read More 
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My History with God

March 5, 2010
Tags: Lent, God-With-Us, chaos, Waiting
PHOTO: MARY VAN BALEN


Rely on the mighty Lord;
constantly seek his face.
Recall the wondrous deeds he has done…
Ps 105, 4-5a


My spiritual director has to remind me from time to time to reflect on the history of God’s Presence in my past. This usually is necessary when I am struggling with my present. The Holy Mystery remains so mysterious that I cannot catch even a glimpse. My life, while interesting, is in chaos and I cannot discern a path. I am stuck in the midst of a plethora of possibilities or languishing for lack of any.

During these times I don’t feel much like rejoicing or proclaiming God’s wondrous deeds as the Psalmist suggests a few verses before these. The rest of the Psalm recounts God’s providential care of Israel until, in the end; God’s people had possession of the land and its wealth and could shout “Hallelujah!”

As I read and reread this Psalm, the plight of Joseph resonated with me. Not his final triumph, becoming the king’s right hand man, but the time of betrayal and imprisonment that preceded it.  Read More 
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Smart Spiritual Roots (or Spiritual Hdyrotropism)

March 4, 2010
Tags: Lent, God-With-Us, Spirituality
Blessed in the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose hope is the Lord.
That one is like a tree planted beside the waters
That stretches out its roots to the stream:
It fears not the heat when it comes,
Its leaves stay green;
In the year of drought it shows no distress,
but still bears fruit.
Jer 17, 7-8

Years ago, someone gave me two pussy willow stems. They rooted quickly in a water-filled vase and after just a few weeks they were ready to plant. I put them beside the garage where a future bush would be visible from the kitchen window. That was a mistake. A water pipe ran not far from the pussy willow and became clogged over the years by willow roots doing just what the tree did in Jeremiah’s metaphor: They stretched out to water, finding every tiny crack until the pipe was full and the bathtub upstairs wouldn’t drain.

How can roots be so smart? And what happened to my spiritual “smarts” when it comes to seeking out the “water” that gives me life? Read More 
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We Don't Know What We Are Asking

March 3, 2010
Tags: Lent, servant, Suffering
Photo: Gabbra Wooden Cup - Sueno Studio

He said to her, “What do you wish?” She answered him, “Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus said to her in reply, “You do not know what your are asking. Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?” They said to him, “We can.”


When I was nine or ten, I knew I wanted to be especially close to God. That was my desire, and in my innocence and naiveté, I thought that closeness would make me special to God. I remembered that as I read today’s gospel. Unlike James and John, I wasn’t hoping for power, but like them, I didn’t understand what being close to God and doing Jesus work would mean in my life. Read More 
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God's Desire

March 2, 2010
Tags: Lent, reverence, Love
PHOTO:MARY VAN BALEN


I need no bullock from your house,
no goats from your fold.
For every animal of the forest is mine,
beasts by the thousands on my mountains.
I know every bird of the heavens;
the creatures of the field belong to me.
Offer praise as your sacrifice to God;
fulfill your vows to the Most High.
Ps 50 9-11; 14


What could the Maker of All That Is possibly desire? Not the sacrifices of the Israelites. The earth, the sky, every creature, every star, every universe belongs to the Creator. There is but one thing: Our hearts. And we give it by praising God with our lives. We reverence our sisters and brothers. We care for the earth and its creatures. We share the gifts we have been given as servants. We work for peace. We follow the example of Jesus. What could the Maker of All That Is possibly desire? Our love. © 2010 Mary van Balen Read More 
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God Can Handle Mad

March 1, 2010
Tags: Lent, lament
"LAMENT" BY CONNIE BUTLER
How long, Lord? Will you be angry forever?
Will your rage keep burning like fire?
Pour out your wrath on nations that reject you,
on kingdoms that do not call on your name,
For they have devoured Jacob,
laid wast to his home.
Help us, God our savior,
for the glory of your name.
Deliver us, pardon our sins,
for your name's sake.
Why should the nations say,
"Where is their God?"
Before our eyes make clear to the nations
that you avenge the blood of your servants.
Lord, inflict on our neighbors sevenfold
the disgrace that they inflicted on you.
Then we, your people, the sheep of your pasture,
will give thanks to you forever;
through all ages we will declare your praise. Ps 79, 5-7; 10; 12-13

Readings like this can make us uncomfortable. Ingrained proscriptions against complaining to God about Divine absence in times of trial and asking for vengeance to be visited on our enemies can make praying this Psalm difficult. Aren't we supposed to forgive those who hurt us? Aren't our words to God supposed to be words of praise and thanksgiving? Doesn't this make us seem to be, well...whiners? Read More 
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Glimpses of Glory

February 28, 2010
Tags: Lent, Cape Cod, present to the moment, Grace
PHOTO: MARY VAN BALEN
While he was praying his face changed in appearance and his clothing became dazzling white. And behold, two men were conversing with him, Moses and Elijah, who appeared in glory and spoke of his exodus that he was going to accomplish in Jerusalem. As they were about to part from him, Peter said to Jesus, "Master, it is good that we are here; let us make three tents, on for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah." But he did not know what he was saying. While he was still speaking, a cloud came and cast a shadow over them, and they became frightened when they entered the cloud. Then from the cloud came a voice that said, "This is my chosen Son; listen to him." After the voice had spoken, Jesus was found alone. Lk 9,29-31; 33-36a

When I see something that gives me a glimpse into God's glory, I want to hang on to it, like Peter. Sometimes when I am watching the sun set over the ocean, I want the sun to stop right where it is, and delay its inevitable disappearance behind the waters. Read More 
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My "Yes"

February 27, 2010
Tags: Lent, gift, Life
PHOTO: MARY VAN BALEN- Morning Market


This day the Lord, your god, commands you to observe these statutes and decrees. Be careful, then to observe them with all your heart and with all your soul. Today you are making this agreement with the Lord: he is to be your God and you are to walk in his ways and observe his statutes, commandments and decrees, and to hearken to his voice. And today the Lord is making this agreement with you: you are to be a people peculiarly his own.
Dt 26, 16-18a


This morning, when my feet touched the floor and I took a deep breath, I once again entered my sacred agreement with the Holy One: I say “yes” to the gift of my life, whatever it brings, “yes” to God. Today I am making an agreement with God to use my life for good, to follow the example of Jesus, and to avoid actions that allow evil and discord to seep into the world.

The Holy One makes an agreement too: Infinite Love makes me a unique child of God, and we will walk together.

Tonight, when I crawl into bed and burrow under blankets, I know I will have done less good than I might have done and failed more often that I had hoped I would. Yet, I can lay my head on the pillow and rest, assured that God has been faithful to our agreement. I will sleep knowing that despite failure to live up to my end of the bargain, I remain “peculiarly God’s own." When the sun rises I will be offered the agreement once again that day and every day I take a breath.

© 2010 Mary van Balen

e.e.cummings poem i thank You God for most this amazing
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Full Redemption

February 26, 2010
Tags: Lent, forgiveness, compassion
THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON: Rembrandt van Rijn

Out of the depths I call to you, Lord;
Lord, hear my cry!
May your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.
If you, Lord, mark our sins,
Lord, who can stand?
But with you is forgiveness
and so you are revered.
For with the Lord is kindness,
with him is full redemption.
Psalm 130, 1-4; 7

Sometimes, looking back over my life, I become aware of my weaknesses, flaws, and sins. What have I done that has hurt others? How much time have I wasted? How many opportunities have I squandered? How many times have I withheld gifts, given by God for the good of all? Was I shy? Intimidated? Lazy?

I can be harder on myself than I am on others, reluctant to show myself the same compassion I extend to them. If I am aware of my failures, how many more must the Creator see?

The comfort of this Psalm lies in its image of Holy One. Though on my own, I am unable to become who I am made to be, God does not dwell on my weakness, but instead looks at me with love and forgiveness. Like the Father welcoming the prodigal son, God sees me with joy and wraps me in a loving embrace. Like a parent who looks at her child and sees deeper than appearances, knowing the heart that is momentarily shrouded in hurt and anger, God looks past my imperfect self and sees the spark of divinity that dwells in my soul, just as God intended.

Compassionate One who welcomes me, who welcomes all, help me to accept your love and to share it freely with others, seeing not their faults but their hearts which you have made.
© 2010 Mary van Balen  Read More 
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