Mary van Balen

Here is my kitchen counter, built by my brother, brightened with flowers from my sister, dish towels from my cousin in the Netherlands, and the framed print from my student. Little reminders of people and places, of love and support. Last night, my daughter lent me a cable to upload the photos from my camera. I trust my cable will show up as boxes are emptied.

As I unpack clothes, I am lightening my load. I look at all my "things" and wonder if I have accumulated too much. My sister assures me that I have not. "If you spread these things around a house instead of a small flat, you would have loads of room left over."

I think she is right. For a sixty year old woman, mother of three, I guess I have a modest collection of things. Still, I think I can pare down some. Read More 

Please excuse the long gap between blog posts. I have been moving and though progress has been made, boxes abound and my office looks as if its contents were dropped into place by a windstorm. I took a few photos to use today, but can't find the little usb cable I need to connectcamera to computer. Thus the clip art!

Despite the lack of time off to put my new place together, I have managed to make the flat livable, even pleasant, in the time I have had. Family and friends have provided unending support from spotting the apartment, to moving boxes, hanging prints and a mirror, and building a seven foot long counter high enough to double as an eating place in the kitchen.  Read More 

Lord, it is night. The night is for stillness. Let us be still in the presence of God. It is night after a long day. What has been done has been done; what has not been done has not been done; let it be...

from the New Zealand Prayer Book




After dinner, Dad and I took a walk around the grounds of the nursing facility where he lives, Dad in his wheel chair, me pushing him along. We stopped to wave to a friend who called down to us from her balcony. Dad, always the gentleman, tipped his hat and waved back. Then we were off to the pond. He spotted a couple of geese as we approached and pointed out the "red faces," muscovy ducks that were settled along the walk that circles the water. Excited by our arrival, the large ducks heaved themselves up with tails wobbling and crowded around us. When they discovered we had come empty handed, they settled back into the grass like lawn ornaments.  Read More 

The sun beat down on artists, poets, and gallery visitors gathered for the opening of the "Language of Art" exhibit that featured twenty-five selected pieces of art and poems written in response to them. One by one, poets took center stage and read their works. I sat in a plastic lawn chair and watched, noting the variety of forms poets take: young and old, men and women. Some women readers wore pumps and dresses, others jeans and t-shirts. One walked up and halfway through her poem her hands began to shake. She put one behind her back while the other shook the paper.

"Such a small group," I thought, "and she is so nervous. She must not be accustomed to reading her work before an audience." I admired her commitment to her art. One man wore a sports jacket. Others were more casual. Each was given rapt attention and applause when they had finished. All of us sat, listened, and sweated together until the last line was read, when we moved back into the gallery to cool off and study again the art and poems displayed beside them. Read More 

Sunday morning when my cell phone alarm began to ring, I fumbled with it until I found the "snooze" button. I had driven all night to return home from a family wedding reception and had set the alarm to wake me for early Mass. My legs did not want to move and neither did the rest of me, but I forced myself out of bed and made it to church a little late. I was glad I did.

"Someone once said that you need three things to have hope," our pastor said as he began his homily. "Someone to love, something to do, and something to hope in."

As I listened to his words, I thought of my life. I had been feeling discouraged. My path had not turned out as I thought it might and its direction was lost in the mist of uncertainty. Still, I had someone to love. No husband, but children, family, and friends. Yes, I am blessed with three daughters, with friends from across the country and around the world: GED students, authors, care givers, professors, and poets.

I have something to do. Read More 

“The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son... “Then he sent some more servants and said, ‘Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.’ Mt 22, 1-2;4


"I'm too frazzled!" my older sister, Jan, said as she walked back into the front door of her home a minute after having left. "I'm looking for my phone. Have you seen it? I'll call my self. If you hear it ring, bring it out to the car. I'll go out as see if I have it somewhere in my purse."

She disappeared through the door again. I heard no ring, walked to the front door, looked out, and saw her giving me a thumbs up. I walked back to the kitchen, hung up the phone and smiled as I looked at the cake and supplies waiting in the family room for pick up.

My sister's youngest of five children (and only daughter) had been married in Texas two months ago. Today Jan and Howard are having a reception for the new couple in their hometown for family and friends who were unable to make the trip to Texas.

No wonder Jan was feeling frazzled. Despite a troublesome back and a full schedule helping with grandchildren, involvement in an outreach to the poor in a crowded urban city, and various commitments to her church community, Jan had managed to bake her wonderful carrot cake into a large, three tiered wedding cake. Read More 

"Hurray," I shouted.

"It's on!," my neighbor said.

I was never as happy to see a headlight shine bright as I was tonight. My daughter and her friend had taken me to dinner and while driving home I remembered that I had two new headlight bulbs in the back seat for her to install. I called. She said the owner's manual would give me directions and the job should not be difficult.

"If you can't get it, I can help tomorrow night."

"OK. I'll give it a try when I am home."

I turned into the driveway and pulled close to the garage incase the job lasted longer than the evening light. The manual made it sound easy if I could figure out what the "hold down wire" was and if the power steering fluid holder came out easily. In just a few minutes I had the new bulbs out along with a packet of some sort of grease that the salesman said I could put on the connectors. Read More 

I intended to write about some thought provoking articles in The Christian Century, but I clicked on the television to check news and watched the PBS special on the Freedom Riders instead. I was eleven in May, 1961, but remember news broadcast images of the Civil Rights struggle including some of the Freedom Riders. Watching the special last night was both horrifying and inspiring.

I know people who have marched with MLK Jr. in Selma and one who worked with the bus boycott in Montgomery. As a teenager, I joined in protests for the Farm Workers Union and marched in protests against the Viet Nam war. Facing National Guard bayonets on my college campus, I experienced rubbery knees and covered my nose and mouth with wet towels to lessen the effects of tear gas.

None of these actions of mine required the raw courage of those college students who became "The Freedom Riders." Trained in non-violent resistance, these young people knew they were likely going to face beatings, arrest, and possibly death, yet boarded the buses anyway, intent on calling national attention to the immortality of segregation and the need to change Jim Crow laws. Read More 

PHOTOS: Mary van Balen


"During the Easter season we recall his resurrection and, at Pentecost, the sending of the Spirit. Not only is God-with-Us; God is within us. Liturgically, we celebrate these two seasons at separate times, but we live them as they really are: both present at every moment."
Mary van Balen



Christmas and Easter? Read my column and find out.
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I have fallen into some bad habits: Eating too much junk food; staying up late; skipping exercise; watching tv; missing prayer time and blog posts. I am not sure what precipitated my "fall." Splurging on some Easter treats and then not being able to stop? Grocery shopping when I was hungry and buying comfort foods I should have passed by? Weeks of almost incessant rain; Odd work hours?

Whatever the causes, I have paid for the slips with inability to fall asleep, restless nights, and an couple of added pounds. Headaches and lethargy often follow my bouts of sweets eating and those have made an appearance as well.

A friend of mine who struggles with weight issues said when she slips off her regimen and eats too much of the things she shouldn't, she tells herself, "Today is a new day," and gets back on track.

Well, today is my new day.  Read More