Mary van Balen

(First appeared in The Catholic Times, February 19, 2012 ©2012 Mary van Balen)


Last week I received a call from my brother informing me that my Uncle Adrian had passed away. He was my father’s youngest brother and had been the last surviving of six siblings. Uncle Adrian was easy to be with and always a lot of fun. When I was in grade school, my parents drove me to his home where I spent a week of summer vacation with him, my aunt, and four cousins.

His two sons and I hiked along creeks and picking among stones along its bed, found “magic” ones that we used to write and draw on flat pieces of slate we had found. I remember sitting with Uncle Adrian on the porch one evening, just watching the sky and talking about a variety of topics. That is when I learned that the neighbor’s dog had had a litter and was looking for homes for the puppies.

I was ecstatic. I had wanted a pet for what seemed to me like forever, and here was a puppy, a free puppy, just for the asking. I fell in love with a light colored puppy with nappy fur and dark ears, and by the time my parents came to pick me up, I was sure this puppy was meant for us. Read More 

While in Pittsburgh visiting the Carnegie Museum of Natural History, I enjoyed the exhibit, "Read My Pins," a display of over 200 of Madeleine Albright's collection of pins and photographs of her wearing them as she conferred with world leaders. Ms. Albright, it seems, used the pins to alert those she met to her mood, purpose, or hope. It began after Saddam Hussein's government controlled media called her an "unparalleled serpent" after she criticized the leader. The next time she met with him, she wore a snake pin, a symbol of new life, though I doubt that was the message she was sending.

She mixed whimsy with pointed commentary, wearing pins of everything from flowers and dragonflies to wasps and American eagles. She wore a large zebra pin that lay across her shoulder when she met with Nelson Mandela, in honor of his homeland, and a trio of "see no evil, here not evil, speak no evil" when she conferred with Putin, who took offense.

The use of jewelry for more than the sparkle it adds to one's attire is not reserved to Madeleine Albright, though she may have raised it to a new level. Engagement and wedding rings give testament to marriage. High school or college class rings declare an allegiance to a particular time in one's life and a particular place of learning. Hardly "jewelry," the rash of colored plastic bracelets proclaim everything from one's faith to one's favorite causes to all who notice.

I have often worn jewelry to remind me of people, places, and relationships. They have become what Catholics call "sacramentals," things that remind us of God and help us to experience that Holy Presence with us.  Read More 

"And it's a chance to step back for a moment, for us to come together as brothers and sisters and seek God's face together. At a time when it's easy to lose ourselves in the rush and clamor of our own lives, or get caught up in the noise and rancor that too often passes as politics today, these moments of prayer slow us down. They humble us. They remind us that no matter how much responsibility we have, how fancy our titles, how much power we think we hold, we are imperfect vessels. We can all benefit from turning to our Creator, listening to Him. Avoiding phony religiosity, listening to Him." from President Obama's National Prayer Breakfast Address

This morning I happened to be at home when President Obama addressed those assembled for the National Prayer Breakfast. I was drinking a cup of tea and preparing my own breakfast when the news channel began live coverage of the event. I sat down and listened. The opening remarks cited above reminded me of how I have become caught up in the busyness of life and have not taken time to slow down in prayer often enough. If the president can begin his day with prayer and a little Scripture, certainly I can do the same.

The past week an good friend of forty years (can't be!) came by for a visit. We rarely see one another and squeezed in a lot of catching up in the couple of hours remaining until I needed to leave for work. At one point in the conversation she said, "I don't have the time that I used to have to just pray. To just be still and pray. I need that." Read More 

Saint Thomas Aquinas was educated by Benedictines but eventually chose to join the Dominican order, much to his family's dismay. He continued his education in Paris and Cologne under the tutelage of Albert the Great. During this time, the writings of Aristotle had been rediscovered and were causing ferment in the Christian world of philosophy and theology. Why would a follower of Christ have any interest in the work of an ancient pagan philosopher? Did Aristotle's writings threaten the Church and its mission to spread the word of God?

As I read about Thomas this morning on one of my favorite sites, Universalis, a phrase in Martin Kochanski's short commentary on Thomas caught my attention-"Truth cannot contradict truth: if Aristotle (the great, infallible pagan philosopher) appears to contradict Christianity (which we know by faith to be true), then either Aristotle is wrong or the contradiction is in fact illusory."

This quote reminded me of a conversation I had years ago with my then five-year-old daughter who is now an archeologist. One night, when I climbed the steps to check on her, I found her wide awake, looking at the ceiling and the glow in the dark moon stuck to it.

"What's wrong, honey?" I asked.

She turned her wide eyes toward me and said, "I don't know what to do. I love God, but I love science, too. And the Bible says God made the world in seven days and some people say dinosaurs and people lived at the same time, but science says that isn't true.” She took a deep breath. “I don't know what to pick." Read More 

The weekly Convivium, or gathering for lunch and conversation, was one of my favorite events during my year at the Collegeville Institute. Sponsored by the School of Theology, the lunch was prepared by a different group each week and showcased ethnic foods of the students and residents as well as good old American standards. "Convivium" comes from the Latin meaning "feast," or in a more broad understanding, "living together" from "con" + "vivio."

The experience in Collegeville followed noon prayer (also led by students) and provided an opportunity to share good food, conversation, news of upcoming events, while contributing to the sense of community.

I am blessed to share a monthly meal, conversation, and prayer with a small group where I live. We have been meeting for about seven years and bring one another joy and support. In our society, taking time to sit together, savor food and enjoy others' company is becoming less common. Many families have difficulty finding time to eat together as they juggle work, school, sports, and other activities.  Read More 

This winter has been mild, giving us some almost balmy sunny days. One morning the light coming in my bedroom window was so strong that I grouped plants from around the room onto one dresser so they could benefit from the rays. I sat on my bed and looked at them, enjoying the shine on their leaves and imagining the roots stretching and moving around in the warm soil.

Today I decided to ignore usual "day off chores" and soak up the sun as well. I stepped outside and decided to walk toward the used furniture store that provided my dining room table. I crossed to the sunny side of the street, took a deep breath, and savored the sun's warmth on my face. Read More 

Last night, this old hippie attended her first rock concert. Well, the Trans Siberian Orchestra is not a true "rock band," as my daughter who accompanied me pointed out, but it is close enough. I was propelled to buy two tickets one night when I was hungry for music, music that would energize as well as entertain. Having listened to Rochmaninoff's "Vespers," Handel's Messiah," and Pavorrati's "O Holy Night" countless times, I logged on the internet only to find that the singalong Messiah, and any holiday offerings of the symphony were past. Few options remained before the new year.

One group, Trans Siberian Orchestra, sounded familiar. My work schedule actually would allow me to attend their Sunday afternoon concert. I googled the group, an eclectic mix of strings, percussion, guitar, and vocals, and decided to give it a go.  Read More 

Today's headlines include an AP article about the increase of poverty in the US. According to census figures, 1 in 2 people in the US are poor or low income. The figures are not surprising since the economy has been struggling for years, and government programs that act as safety nets have been decreased. My job, fulltime at a large department store, would put me in the low income range even though I work 35-39 hours per week. It does provide good benefits, and many of those who work there are not the sole income earners for themselves or their families. Still, I am blessed to have other sources of revenue to supplement my pay check. All are not so fortunate.

I am well educated and have a wide variety of experience and a strong social network that gives me support. What about those who have less education? Who have young children to support? Who are single parents? Who have been out of work for years? If I had difficulty finding a job, imagine the plight of so many others. As I said, the figures were not surprising.

What bothered me in the article was a comment by Robert Rector, a research fellow at the conservative Heritage Foundation. He questioned whether those classified as poor or low-income in the census report actually suffered material hardship. He thinks the safety-net governmental programs offered to such people have been overdone. His rationale? Some of them have cars, decent sized homes, and widescreen TVs. Read More 

Last night, after dinner and prayer, my spirituality group blessed my new flat! A beautiful surprise. One arrived with a sprig of green and placed it in a vase on the buffet. When the evening was drawing to a close, Noreen said, "There are six spaces here, and six of us. Each pick a space and bless it, speaking from your heart."

Dipping the green into a bowl of water, Ann went without hesitation to the kitchen where she sprinkled the counter built by my brother, the stove, sink, and pantry made by my daughter and spoke of the joy of preparing food for self and friends, and hoped I would enjoy this kitchen space as much as she enjoys hers.

Denis took the sprig and blessed the dining area and table where friends and family gather. "May they be filled and satisfied not only with food, but with spirit."

Lavonne took the sprig. "We're traveling," she said and walked to the bathroom where the colorful "map of the world" shower curtain adds brightness to the small space. Read More 

Friends are coming to dinner tonight. We meet once a month for dinner, conversation, and prayer. This is the fist gathering I have hosted in my new place, and I am looking forward to it. I cleaned, put on "Vespers" by Rachmaninoff, and lit candles. What a wonderful way to celebrate the feast of St. Nicholas. Three gold coins sit on each plate, remembering' the story of Nicholas helping a poor man and this three daughters by tossing a bag of gold coins into the young women's window, providing a dowery for each. One story claims the gold fell into their stockings, and thus, we hang Christmas stockings to be filled with small gifts.

Tonight, as we gather for prayer, we will read over today's Scriptures which speak of God's great love for every person and desire to take care of the poor. God is compared to a shepherd caring for his sheep, searching for one who wanders away, not wanting to lose even one. Readings from Ezekiel, Isaiah, and Mark echo the theme of Love wrapping us up, protecting us, and making sure we arrive safely home. Read More